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Un-Valentines Day February 13, 2013

Posted by Waking Up With A Broken Heart in Uncategorized.
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How could tomorrow be Valentine’s Day and you are not here????    It’s just not possible.    I spent the entire day crying and trying to logically understand it. Yesterday I went with Shari to buy decorations for Chase’s desk at school. I should have known better. It’s just not fair………………

You should be in Chase’s class. I should be decorating your desk and you should be in the basketball game tomorrow night with him. We should all be together.   I should be waking up to hugs and kisses and pretending that I didn’t know you bought me a card and chocolates………… You & Chase should be “secretly”  trying to steal our champagne tomorrow night………….

What will I do tomorrow morning……….. How will I possibly get up and survive the day without you?????

How will I continue to breathe tomorrow??

How??????????????????????????????????

How can this be. I still don’t not only, understand this, but I have yet to accept it. How could I??????

We always celebrate Valentine’s Day together. You are always my Valentine and I am one of yours……. along with Stephanie and all the nurses at the hospital. How can it be that we are not delivering chocolate hearts this year? How is it that you are not being too shy to hand over the carefully selected boxes of chocolates for all you “girlfriends” and making me do it????????

How is it that we are not snuggling in bed at this very moment awaiting the arrival of Valentine’s Day…….. One of our favorite holidays…… how???????……………..

It’s just so unfathomably unfair and so debilitatingly painful…………

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How I wish I could hold you and kiss you one more time…………..but that wouldn’t be enough,   would it my beautiful baby????………………… 

Nothing could ever be enough…………………..

Comments»

1. Glo - February 14, 2013

I have cried with you Siv. I love you! Nothing could ever be enough,… I’m so sorry.

2. Geves Lafosse - March 1, 2013

I lost my daughter to leukaemia and I recognise so many of the feelings in your post. It’s heartbreaking. I’m so sorry for the loss of your son.

3. SusanB - March 9, 2013

It’s a terrible pain, a mother’s ache for her child that flew to heaven, the world tilts and everything is different, changed, a foreign, frightening landscape. Take your one step forward, allow the next step to come, you are not alone, someone else knows your pain, we hold one anothers hand and trust you will see Sal again.


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