All I want……… December 13, 2017
Posted by Waking Up With A Broken Heart in Christmas, Infinite Pain, Love & Grief.Tags: Christmas, grief, love, pain
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All I want for Christmas…..and every other holiday and birthday…..is my baby back.
That’s it, nothing else. Just him. Just my Sal. Just my precious baby.
So he can wrap his arms around me and tell me he loves me. So I can kiss him good night. So I can hear him say “mama hug me”. So we can stay up late and watch silly movies. So we can have some more midnight snacks. So we can play video games and laugh at how terrible I am. So we can have late night Target runs for a new toy or 2 or 3. So we can have another war with his toys. So I can make him pińa coladas while he plays in the pool with his sister & brothers. So we can go to the flea market and scour the entire place looking for blue toys. So we can go see inappropriate movies and I can cover his eyes and have him yell at me. So we can sing in the car. So we can dance in the bedroom. So we can jump on the bed. So we can eat blue cotton candy and blue snow cones. So we can drive around looking for new toy stores. So we can argue over whether Ruby is Max’s mother or sister. So we can go out for pizza. So we can watch Spongebob. So he can dress up like the Blueranger. So he can be Captain America again. So we can have another birthday cake. So we can find another little toy to collect. So we can go to Disney. So we can ride the waverunners. So we can play Club Penguin and feed his Puffles. So I can cook him his favorite steak. So I can read him 5 books before bed. So he can stick his head out of the sunroof when we pick up Sergio from school. So he can win at every game we play. So he can ride his car around the house. So we can visit Papi and play with Johnny. So we can buy some more Red Bull. So he can make me read more books about bugs just to see me cringe. So we can watch Jaws again. So I can kiss his sweet soft head. So we can count the freckles on his nose again to see if there’s any new ones. So we can go for a walk. So we can shop for blue toys online. So we can cook 15 different things for dinner. So we can go to the park. So we can go to New York and visit all his favorite places. So we can fall asleep on the couch. So we can eat ice cream for breakfast. So we can eat pizza for lunch and dinner. So he can tell me again how he was going to marry me when he grew up. So we can fight over who loves who the most again. So I can kiss his cute little nose. So he can give me 4 inches of bed space again. So I can make him another bubble bath. So we can order room service. So we can barbecue his favorite food. So he can eat chocolate cigars. So he can make me watch horror movies and not let me close my eyes. So he can tell me how beautiful I am and I can tell him how handsome he is. So I can hug him and never let go………………..
So we can decorate his little blue Christmas tree…….
So I can wake up on Christmas day, kiss him and see the excitement, happiness and joy in his eyes………..
THAT’S ALL I WANT………
Understood. I lost my son to leukemia in 2009, my heart is forever broken. I miss him so much. I did not know Sal, but through your stories, I see him through your eyes and your heart. Sal seems like an awesome person, who liked to have a lot of fun. I am with you in spirit in missing our sweet boys this Christmas and always for the rest of our days. Sending wishes that Sal comes to you and shares something with you that will make you smile.
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