Waking Up With A Broken Heart

An Eternal Struggle to Survive…………..

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I Thought……

I thought I would never walk into a hospital again……….let alone an oncology floor.

I thought I would never be able to bear seeing another child suffering cancer like my precious baby did.

I really never thought I could ever again touch or kiss the soft bald head of a child with cancer.

I absolutely never thought I could have a party with a room full of kids battling childhood cancer.

I WAS WRONG…….

Since Sal died I have dedicated my life to raising awareness & fundraising for Childhood Cancer Research. It is what I do every waking hour.

But, one year ago, while talking to Sal’s Dr @ Miami Childrens, we came up with the idea of having a weekly Family Fun Night for the inpatient kids. (Some of these kids are inpatient for weeks or months at a time) Sal had spent a lot of time at so many different hospitals and I knew in my heart he would really want me to do this, even though it was going to be immensely difficult for me.  Sal loved parties, he hated being bored, loved toys and he loved to sing & dance. So I decided to incorporate all these things into one night…….which is now our Mystic Force Family Fun Night on 3North at Miami Childrens Hospital.

For a few hours one night a month we help these kids forget where they are and just be kids having fun. We fill the playroom with tons of toys, circling colored lights and play party music. We do fun crafts, we paint, we color, make bracelets and we eat delicious food. Sometimes we have Superheroes join us, sometimes we have local celebrities.

All of this is possible because of the generosity of so many individuals & companies who donate their time, who donate awesome toys and who donate the dinner each month.

HOW DO I KNOW I WAS WRONG??

This past week a very special little boy from Miami Childrens passed away. Alejandro was a beautiful, spunky, witty, Lego loving little boy. He was at most of our Family Fun Nights through out the year, which sadly, meant he was inpatient…..a lot. I know I was wrong, because, I know that I, along with my entire team of amazing volunteers brought this boy happiness when we were there. (as you can see from the video below) He sang & danced & picked out as many toys as he wanted, did crafts, played, ate delicious (non-hospital) food and of course we always brought him Legos. My dear friend Mara brought him super special Legos which, sadly, he never got to enjoy as he was already in I.C.U.  He will be missed by each and every one of us.

THAT’S HOW I KNOW I WAS WRONG…….

Now, as I pack up for tomorrow’s Nike Family Fun Night (because Nike donated the most awesome balls, bags & backpacks) I know I can do this, I know it’s what I have to do, what I must do, WHAT I WANT & NEED TO DO…………….. I must bring smiles & happiness, even if it’s just for a little while to these kids who suffer the unimaginable like my baby did.

(If you would like to help in any way, please fill out the contact form below)

 

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FFN June 2

 

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Is it Really Mother’s Day……..

This morning many will all wake up and think of and be thankful for the moms that gave us life.

We will thank God for all the blessings in our life,

For the beautiful children we have raised.

BUT………

Some of us will hesitantly wake up

We will somehow get out of bed and wash the tears from our face……

We will go thru the motions of the day……

Waiting impatiently for the day to end.

We will smile and pretend that we are okay.

We will laugh when we have to,

Cry when we need to.

 

We will remember every single second of every single Mother’s Day we have spent with our precious children.

Then will remember how many years, months, days, minutes……seconds…..it has been since we felt our baby’s touch. How much we yearn to hear our baby’s voice. How much it hurts to know they will not be here today.

Today is Mother’s Day……

 Hug your mom

Send prayers to your Mom if she is no longer here and be thankful for the time you had together…..

 

Hug your children, Kiss them, enjoy them, savor every second with them, remember every laugh, every smile, every funny comment……

Bask in the infinite love your children bring you. Feel glory in every trying time as you try to figure out what comes next, what is right and what is wrong.

Rejoice in knowing that your child is happy & healthy………..

Proclaim your love for them. Relax as you watch them play, etching every scene into your memory………..

Hug your children

Kiss your babies

Savor every second with them

Thank your God for your good blessings…..

Then remember those, like me, who long for what you have……………………..

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